It seems the older I get, the harder life becomes. Finances, parenthood, a lack of a social life, losing friends, keeping fit and keeping your relationship alive. Add to that, in my case, a couple of psychological issues which are slowly but surely being treated and controlled, and sometimes I honestly feel like just giving up, crawling into bed, and not getting out.
Life becomes so blurry, and it seems each year I find myself saying: “Holy crap! It’s (enter month) already!” I become so afraid that because of the fast paced, never enough hours in a day kind of lifestyle I (and I’m sure a lot of other people) are experiencing, will result in me missing out and taking for granted the things that mean the most to me. My little grub has gone from a 3.2 kg, helpless little human, to a 13 kg, walking, talking person, with his own personality. How did it go so fast? What happened?
As terrible as it sounds, I actually look forward to bedtime. I’ve lost touch with friends, not because I want to, but because my life seems to be going at a million kilometers per hour. To those friends who have been patient with me, thank you. To those who haven’t, take a walk in my shoes (or slippers) and let me know how you feel.
I’d love to slow down. I don’t know how to. I get tired, I get burnt out. I spread myself too thin. And it’s only going to get more intense. With all of this, I have to make a promise to myself. Even if I take 10 minutes out of my day for “me time”, whether it be a bubble bath, a cup of sweet tea, or writing a blog. As for my son, I need to take the time so that when he is grown up and having his own baby and spreading his wings, I know that I have cherished every moment, every new word, every high five, every new skill that he learns. I want no regrets. And the same applies to all of those who are my TRUE friends and family. I will take the time for you. I will try my absolute best. Just know that I love you all and I’m sorry I haven’t been there.
Because one day, they won’t be there anymore. God forbid. But that’s how life goes.